Monday, March 10, 2014

Liquid Sonic Light

I have the means to establish another channel of communion, or to widen the channel for myself and others. I see how music has served me over the years, exactly how it saved me. As an Indigo, I need personal connection more than most. This is the very thing severed by the incidents and actions of (most of) my early family experience. I gave up personal connection for security and safety, neither of which did I ever achieve. Of course, now I know that I was actually running from safety and security for 99% of the time I've lived cut off. 

By The CharlieBrowniest
Luckily, around that same time I began to exist between the notes and rests, the rhythms, melodies and harmonies, but most of all the notes sung or played with joy, grief or longing. I took refuge in music, is what occurred. I see the space as a close, dark cave whose walls could light as bright as the sun, and sound colors play my emotions in the reflection of the pool that never rages, and a grotto ceiling that lightening never threatens to destroy.

It has been in this place that I've encountered the soul of many a minister, in the realest sense of the word. These loving souls poured their heart-spirit nectar almost directly into my own soul, and for that, i could never properly express my gratitude. 

 You see, if this liquid sonic light had never soothed me, there's no way I could have survived my own habit-fortified exile. I need connection, and being so completely deprived of it is utter torture. It's been a lifetime, and I feel some of my antisocial habits, inspired by my fear of society, are beginning to fossilize. Apparently, this is no time to deny myself music.