Wednesday, October 30, 2013

My Hatred Craves an Object


My hatred craves an object. The closer the better. To know this is to understand every move I've ever made, and all my relationships. Hell, a smart person could tell me the degree to which I identify with hatred. Thank God I am finally learning that I am neither subject nor object in this corrosive tale, but the composer of every sentence. Thank God for the discovery that i can edit, albeit in all but history.

She said that I have a drum I need to play. I have thus far ignored that, to my detriment. And that is why this has taken so long. You don't take it seriously, because you don't see the miraculous in you. You can't see it yet, and it's not you're fault. But I'm here to tell you, when you're ready, all you have to do is take a risk.

Belief is valuable to the extent that it allows you to take risks. Knowledge is more valuable, because it's the path, the fuel and the goal. Curiosity leads to knowledge, which spurs belief, which breeds curiosity, more knowledge. The accumulation of knowledge inspires more curiosity as patterns emerge.

Anyway, don't shy away from risk, these messages or the pain you feel. Talk to your friends. Play the drum. That was one reason you were put in a position to listen to music for extended periods without distraction. Your music therapy idea is a good one, for as long as you're blind to who you are, you need someone to teach you from a compassionate place. You want music in your life. Your attendant spirits love when you and music are together.