Thursday, October 31, 2013

It's All Me


Something happened after I sparked the meditation. I saw what Shakti was talking about. I talk about the entities in me ostensibly for reference and healing purposes, but the spirit showed me how i relate to those aspects that I've put considerable energy into identifying. Recently, my friend Shakti tried to tell me to stop thinking of these things as separate entities, that they are just me. If I didn't know that I was resisting taking her advice, I would describe the effort as lazy. I was acting out of refusal to let go of these creations of mine.

The subtext this time: So now that you see they are you, you can choose to act differently. I'm that bully. I'm that tyrant, that coward, that snake-woman, that Jesus-Naga-Luz. I'm that lion, that butterscotch boy, that monster in the woods. Here in the recesses of my mind, I'm the voice of every family member. Understanding this, I can choose what they say, or at least when they speak.

When i understand this through and through, I'll be able to assume any of these identities, or abandon them. You'll actually be able to create with the identities. But until you know down to the bone that you choose who to be, as if in a game of masquerade, you will repeatedly take your projections as real, quite independently of reality, and at considerable risk to your relationships and your mental health.

But now I see more deeply, and am beginning to understand my role in my own day-to-day suffering. Consciously or unconsciously avoiding the perspective of any part of you (not to mention demonizing the parts you avoid) robs you of full integration. The spirit showed me myself as a giant stomping down the trees and subjugating the people. I  mean she showed me from that point of view, one i'd never considered assuming.

You are being shown a map of your heart because that is one of the best teaching techniques for students prone to doubt. Other students will need to see different truths (or aspects of truth), presented in different ways. Others need certain points emphasized, maybe to be shown the relationships between entities and realities. And each will be taught according to his learning style, because spirit is quite exacting in this.

Once the solemn decision to search is made, the student is presented lessons, and they come back around if necessary. Most of the modest number of failures are simply the result of the student forgetting that she'd asked to be taught. And the majority of those become successes after the student remembers her real priorities.