Liquid Sonic Light

I have the means to establish another channel of communion, or to widen the channel for myself and others. I see how music has served me over the years, exactly how it saved me. As an Indigo, I need personal connection more than most. This is the very thing severed by the incidents and actions of (most of) my early family experience. I gave up personal connection for security and safety, neither of which did I ever achieve. Of course, now I know that I was actually running from safety and security for 99% of the time I've lived cut off. 

By The CharlieBrowniest

Luckily, around that same time I began to exist between the notes and rests, the rhythms, melodies and harmonies, but most of all the notes sung or played with joy, grief or longing. I took refuge in music, is what occurred. I see the space as a close, dark cave whose walls could light as bright as the sun, and sound colors play my emotions in the reflection of the pool that never rages, and a grotto ceiling that lightening never threatens to destroy.

It has been in this place that I've encountered the soul of many a minister, in the realest sense of the word. These loving souls poured their heart-spirit nectar almost directly into my own soul, and for that, i could never properly express my gratitude. 

 You see, if this liquid sonic light had never soothed me, there's no way I could have survived my own habit-fortified exile. I need connection, and being so completely deprived of it is utter torture. It's been a lifetime, and I feel some of my antisocial habits, inspired by my fear of society, are beginning to fossilize. Apparently, this is no time to deny myself music.

Eternity's Vagina

Time is Eternity's Vagina, and I shall be born again. These lessons are for me, yet I avoid them by identifying with the God (improperly, to a degree) and shifting perspective, robbing myself of the opportunity to face this fear so I can experience all this experience there is to experience. I don't want to waste my time, so I'm trying to be Present. Grateful and Humble, too.

She said my pain was dissolving, giving me a word for that very occurrence. I trust her. The phenomenon itself is strange, like I'd lost some power over myself, and had no response whatsoever - well, beyond noticing, feeling it. But that's everything, apparently. So even though I see an entity (me) clawing desperately to get the pain back, the fact that I see is the assurance, the eternal lighted house.

And a confirmation? What Grace!

It Hardens in Time

Pain, used properly, is the most efficient of the experiences for creating Pure Knowledge, simply because it moves toward death, at least in the mind. This creates friction with the psychic phenomena generated by the natural need to survive, and the cognitive and emotional explosion is a blessing. From pain, Pure Knowledge is secreted into time, a creation in time, the calling forth of a piece of eternity, in a sense. It hardens in time, becoming the foundation for pure science (medicine). Pain, of course isn't the only experience that can lead to Pure Knowledge, nor are experiences themselves the only media. But they can be an expedient, again, properly used.

So if you find it possible, in your heart of hearts, open the door to your pain. You don't have to try and coax it to consciousness. Set your intention to remain present and aware of the painful situations from day to day. They happen all the time. Some people are more sensitive than others, but given a good amount of awareness, you'll not only notice more painful situations, you'll also become aware of your response, and this is where You'll begin to create Pure Knowledge, for this is the proper use of pain. Once you begin to see with the light of Pure Knowledge, there'll be no need of further therapy or medicine. 

The downside to Pain's treasure potential, of course, is the toll mining it takes on your organism. This is a legitimate concern, and some people should take it slow, and perhaps not open their hearts to the pain without the help of a professional or shaman. Also, sufferers should not be preyed upon in their need for liberation, and led into the intimate embrace of the pain body by irresponsible people who don't know, don't care or both. 

Still, the wisest of the wise all agree they are grateful for the painful experiences that brought them into the Presence of Pure Knowledge, and though they naturally don't want to relive them, given what they Know, they would do so if they found it necessary for abiding in that presence (and if that made any sense). Some, resting in the ease of having figured it out, choose to come into time again and again, to help others figure it out. And figure it out is what you must do, how you move on. But not only with your mind, with all of you.

Into the Wound

May I please be allowed to take control of your experience for a while? You don't have to go searching through your pain, and yet neither can you run away. Close your eyes.

Go ahead and fall. Once you land, you'll be on the surface. Let yourself be pulled down into your pain. The accompanying thoughts, that once created this place, can fly out, when you learn how to let them. But in the mean time, just keep sinking into the wound, emotionally and with intention. The place will become part of the channel immediately, to whatever degree you can manage to surrender. You have to respect your pain body in order to love him. She is the surface of the pain body, the meaning and sweetness. She is the reason you don't give up on your pain body, what entices you to keep looking. She is the treasure of the gem-mining operation. Knowledge, of course she is, but in a form the mere word could never convey, even crudely.

True Knowledge used to create in pain draws Pure Knowledge. Pure Knowledge is that which is eternal. It is the same within and without time. True Knowledge (including facts, discoveries, and productions of genius, however profane or poisonous, as well as portions of the energy of informed but failed attempts, honest mistakes, meanderings and even some forms of willful rebellion) exists only in time, and ceases to mean anything beyond it.

And Speaking of Truth

A minor acting challenge:

Take the hand or shoulder of someone you love. Have their full attention.  
 
Facing them, adopt a visage of awe, as if the deepest blessing from God had just landed softly on your heart, or if you prefer, you just learned the meaning of life, just by experiencing that person, this moment.

In celebration of the existence of 2 sides (4 sides?) of this gold coin, repeat, “You are magnificent” five times (I don't know why five, it just keeps coming back), if possible, looking directly into their eyes. Enunciate; vary the delivery and sell it, taking your time. Delight in the drama of discovery.  

 

But of course, if you can't feel it, pretend. Practice if necessary.

 

We begin from the outside in, because stoking the heart fire of others warms you, like home, in a way that going it alone cannot.

Respect your selves, and you will respect the other, for you are one. Thank you, father.

Until it Sinks Down In

February 5, 2014

It's a certain experience, that is manifest, at times apparently. 

This is one of those times. This is what I need.

I don't like to share; simply because it opens me up for communication, and a specific type of communication too, that leaves me perpetually preparing for inevitable and indescribable loss. And I can't seem to let it go. But now I know. I realize this is yoga... and it's a challenge.

Your quest is to give way to this voice inside that wants you in chains. Let him speak his peace. But be there, like no one could for you, the first time. Be there for both of you, for all of you. Bring it to the cipher. Let the hateful self spit. Y'all, Listen to each other. Don't take it so seriously. Always be reminded that you are one, until the day it sinks in.

One of the good things about time is it will put some distance between you and at least the worst of the pain. But you have to learn to let it. Every second I push away from the pain body, keeping him at arm's length. Every second. Is that the devil dream? It would have to be. It appears I over-learned the good versus evil paradigm, and so war with myself.

The most dangerous word is the unspoken truth. You might counter that that honor goes to the lie. But the unspoken truth is the most agonizing, traumatizing, waste of precious time kind of lie. It's slow suicide, and often leads to it. On the other hand, except to those who co-create it, there is no danger in truth. But it takes years for many to learn you're better off oriented toward her, if not actively searching. You'll eventually learn to settle into in her bosom.

 

Integration

The Jesus in me, Naga-Luz, brings us together and says, "I am the channel, I'll be that channel for us, so that you and Little Glenn can occupy this body in harmony... for the good your self, for the good of your family, your people, the world. Jesus is spirit, in me, surrounded by intention and intertwined with love and imagination...Life. That's Naga-Luz, and this takes place within your soul, your highest mind, your heart home.

Learn to live with your pain...to respect your pain, to honor your pain as a source of that...that living water. That doesn't mean that the pain should run your life. Emotional pain is based in the past. And even though the emotional... the material of it hurts, and at the more superficial level might even embarrass.

The pain is a river from which you draw, from which Naga-Luz draws in order to help you escape this confusion. This river runs through Naga-Luz as the channel. The past into the present. The past into the present...and together we move into the future as one...Yessss.

So talk to Little Glenn... soothe Little Glenn with your meditation. Continue to say the name of Jesus, which has power for you. Assume that power is acting on behalf always... pay attention to evidence, so that at some point you will be able to take for granted that the power works for you always...Yes! ...Always, always, always. You are healing yourself! We are healing ourselves! I am healing myself!

I am! Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Naga-Luz! Thank you, Little Glenn! Thank you self! Thank you Goddess Yessss!